Injured electric scooter riders flooding emergency rooms despite no treatment for loss of dignity.

Men are being admitted to emergency rooms in the United States at an alarming rate after falling off their electric scooters. No longer just for children or the elderly, an increasing number of grown men are arriving in hospital sans dignity after falling off these electric lazy boards.

When asked why he was riding an electric scooter at the age of 35, Dan Young of Sacramento said, “I thought riding an electric scooter was way cooler than a Segway.” After the Doctor explained to him neither was cool, Dan seemed a little taken aback.

Due to this influx of man-child’s, medical staff are being trained in breaking the news to grown men that they look like dicks on these electric scooters. Pictures, demonstrations, and PowerPoint presentations are just some of the tools being used to show how ridiculous they look engaging in a child’s activity. Some hospitals are even going as far as teach ‘Walking classes’, to show these giant man-boys what their two legs are actually for.

After an overnight stay from an electric scooter crash, Dan is now off in search of his dignity, knowing full well it won’t be easy. “I’m going to ween off the scooter onto a Segway, then roller blades, then a skateboard. Eventually, I’ll be able to walk on my two legs unassisted.”

Applauding his decision, hospital staff clap him out the front door, releasing yet another electric scooter rider into what they hope will be their first steps towards manhood.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. He has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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