BJ Penn set to become first UFC fighter to fight his way out of the Hall of Fame.

Once a sure thing as to go down as an all-time great, BJ Penn is now on track to become the first fighter ever to tarnish his record to the point he disqualifies himself from the Hall of Fame.

A former fan favourite, the fighter nicknamed ‘The Prodigy’ has lost six of his last seven fights, with the seventh resulting a draw. His last win was in 2010, and an entirely new generation of UFC fans cannot comprehend how this old guy who keeps getting beaten up on undercards has not been cut yet.

“Mighty Mouse lost a narrow decision in a title defence – a title defence – and was then gone from the UFC. BJ must have pictures of Dana or something because he’s recession proof,” said UFC fan, Isa Weartapoutshirts.

Promoter and compulsive liar – pardon the tautology – Dana White, has said it’s not his place to tell fighter to retire. “It’s not my place to tell fighters to retire. Except when they go and fight for other promotions like Chuck Liddell did, then I tell them to retire on the spot,” said the red-faced goof.

Some are not only concerned for BJ’s health, but for the very existence of our known universe. “If his career goes backward any farther, there’s a real concern he breaks the space time continuum,” said physicist, Ima Nerdlinger.

With the announcement of yet another annual BJ Penn loss on the horizon, this time to over-the-hill Clay Guida, fans who once held out for BJ to be immortalised are losing faith fast.

“He’s going from former two-division champ to a journeyman with more losses than wins,” said ringside blue shirt guy, John Morgan. “He was once a Prodigy – earning his black belt in BJJ in three years. Now his career is just like the band the Prodigy – six feet under.”

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. He has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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