Dad perplexed why garden hose keeps getting shorter. Bong smoking teenage son may hold key to mystery.

Albert Dumbass, 52 of Croydon, has an unsolved mystery on his hands. “It’s the strangest thing. Every month or so, my garden hose gets shorter by about six inches.” Sitting in the lounge room, his teenage son Josh emerges from his room and grabs a bag of Cheezels from the kitchen before scurrying back to his room and shutting the door.

When asked what he thinks it could be, Albert shrugs perplexed. “Dunno. Aliens, maybe?” as smoke creeps out from under Josh’s door.

Giggling, Josh emerges once more to fetch some chocolate brownies from the fridge, only to disappear into his room again.

“I’ve tried everything. Called the police, hired a private detective, Skyped with Scotland Yard and nothing!”

Resigned to never knowing, Albert waves to Josh’s friend Grunter who enters the house and knocks on Josh’s door. As Albert stares off sadly with his thoughts, Grunter hands Josh something green, cylindrical and six inches long and the two share a giggle. Making the ‘Let’s smoke billy’s’ sign with their hands, the boys close the door leaving poor Albert no closer to solving this puzzling mystery.

If anyone has any information that may help Albert, and us, find peace, please contact us here at The Drunkensober Chronicle.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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