Porn industry relieved as NRL players now concentrate on playing football.

We spoke to industry legend Wally Balls to get his view on the matter.

“Well thank fuck that’s over!” said Mr Balls. With the news that rugby league players are going to focus less on home videos and more on playing their actual sport, a huge sigh of relief could be heard coming from the adult entertainment industry.

“These blokes were giving us a bad name,” said Aussie pornstar, Wally Balls.

“There were no glory holes, no lesbian action, and – worst of all – no money shots, which is just plain amateur hour shit!”

Given the high volume of X-rated tapes coming out of rugby league, porn legend Wally Balls didn’t hold back when critiquing the league players poor form.

“They’ve really embarrassed themselves over the years, so it’s good they’re going to go back to playing sport. I mean, we’ve had Mitchell Pearce’s woeful attempt at doggy style, then Corey Normans muff diving which was quite embarrassing to say the least,” said the Ball-meister.

“There was the Dylan Nappa video where he said, “Call me Big Papi. Call me Big Papa.” Call you a red headed rat rooter, champ. Then he came out with a second sex tape, two days later, this time with some bloke shadowboxing in the background. Mate, that’s not the type of box we focus on in this industry. Then there was talk of a third tape – three tapes in three days!

The quality may have been poor, but at least he’s putting the work in,” said Wally. Shaking his head, Wally naturally had to mention the Penrith Panthers and their efforts.

“The Panthers may have released a tape, but with the threat of Mark Geyer chasing after them, I believe none of the players will be able to get an erection for the entire season. Speaking of threats, there’s rumours Jarryd Hayne has a sex tape too, which will be titled, ‘Don’t chew with your mouth closed,’ which features former Eels teammate, Chewy Chewy Moi Moi.”

Although the porn industry is glad there’ll be less league sex tapes in the near future, Wally says he’d be happy to attend a training session to give the lads some porn industry tips on real ball control.

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