Despite wildfires, climate change and riots in France, most important question for 2019 is still if George R.R. Martin’s ‘The Winds of Winter’ will be released.

When asked what the most important issue to be addressed in 2019, a broad cross section of the international community have unanimously pointed the finger at Mr. George R.R. Martin and said as one, “Just finish the God damn books!”

It’s not wildfires, climate change, or the unjust fuel tax in Paris, people everywhere just want to know what happens in the final books of the television series Game of Thrones.

“I have come to accept we cannot stop wildfires, but the least that chubber can do is finish the books. We’re out here busting our ass every day, he only has to sit on his and tap some words out on a page,” fumed firefighter Wat Erpressure, after losing an entire community of homes to the California fires. 

“Every day our planet gets more and more uninhabitable, so the least that tonnes of fun can do is let us know how the story ends before the world does,” said Rainfall Showerisneeded.

“Sure. We are rioting over the fuel tax, but the thing we’re really mad about is ‘The Winds of Winter’ not being released,” said Parisian Sac Rebleu, before throwing another Molotov cocktail ironically filled with over-priced fuel.

As environmental and social conditions worsen around the globe, world peace or an American Idol winner who releases a second and more successful album seems more realistic than the next installment in the Game of Thrones series. Sadly, deep down every really knows, winter isn’t coming.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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