New diet craze sweeping the world – eat good stuff, and small amounts of bad stuff!

Heretic, charlatan, liar – these are just some of the labels from the medical community that have been hurled at diet guru, Kelly Sparks 28, of the Gold Coast.

In a field where all previous diets have been subject to the strictest of quality controls – like the ‘Air Only Diet’ and the ‘Sunlight’s All You Need Diet’, Kelly is trying to blaze a new trail and carve out a never before discovered niche in the saturated (but not with fats) Diet industry.

“My program is revolutionary,” Kelly boasted. “I have discovered that if you eat a lot of good foods, moderate amounts of okay foods, and a small amount of bad foods, you can actually lose weight.”

Doctors up and down the Goldy have called “bullshit” on her boasts, claiming that the only way to truly lose the kilos is a steady stream of prescription medication and occasional bookings at their liposuction clinics.

Kelly refuses to stop at simply eating healthier foods to lose weight, she also has claimed that adding in regular exercise can also decrease one’s body mass. “Oh piss off,” said one Doctor who wished to remain anonymous, but wanted everyone to know his clinic is off Cavill Mall has 10% of your first liposuction treatment.

At time of print, a consortium of Gold Coast Doctors clinics is compiling a class action law suit to prevent such crazy notions from getting out into the public and doing irreparable damage. Until then, Kelly said she is going to continue preaching her message until the powers that be tell her to stop.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. He has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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