Dana White to hate on fighters for another seven years.

Exciting news in the world of MMA as UFC President, and red-faced goof, Dana White, has signed on for another seven years. Some in the media feel it’s time for Dana to move on, that he helped get the UFC to where it is but is now more of a hindrance, but they couldn’t be more wrong.

“When I was younger I would often clash with fighters – like my feud with Tito, my time not talking to Randy, and when Rampage left the promotion. But I want to assure everyone I’m still the same asshole I always was,” said his puffiness.

True to form, his recent clashes with Stipe Miocic, Tyron Woodley, and Mighty Mouse would suggest he still has the same passion for being a dick to fighters that he always had.

While there’s no denying Dana has been instrumental in taking the promotion global and that he has done a hell of a lot for the sport, it can be said he is partly responsible for holding it back.

“Imagine you’re a undefeated football or basketball team. You would instantly get the finals. Not under Dana. Title shots are handed out to whoever he doesn’t have the shits with that month,” said ringside blue shirt guy, John Morgan. “He brought in the Reebok uniforms to make the sport seem professional- costing fighters tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars in sponsorship money – then just picks who he feels like for title fights. It’s nuts.”

Another failing under tubby’s leadership has been the introduction of covering fighters medical bills. An excellent move for fighters, but one that has seen almost every card suffer changes due to injury. If there’s one group of UFC employees looking forward to Dana leaving, it’s the Photoshop department who have to redo posters every 10 minutes.

Still, this is all a mute point as the ink is dry on his seven year renewal. But, like a red shirt on John Morgan, we all know it’s time for something different.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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