Millennials say life is more stressful now than ever.

“Nothing is worse than the Great Depression… of forgetting your phone charger,” said millennial, Sno Flake.

Losing a wallet or a phone, commuting, arguing with partner, or forgetting your phone charger – these are just some of items on a millennial list released today justifying why life is more stressful than ever.

“You don’t know how hard we millennials have it,” whined 26-year-old, Sno Flake. “We have to commute and sometimes lose our wallets. Plus, we have to go to job interviews and job interviews are hard!”

While the rest of us are left to wonder how millennials think people got jobs before they were born, the strangest part is that they consider life hard because you sometimes argue with your partner.

“Who doesn’t?” asks John Q. Normal. “Did they never see their parents arguing? Oh wait, parents these days hide that stuff from their kids, so maybe they didn’t.”

Having no wifi signal or forgetting a phone charger are definitely modern problems, yet any person possessing an ounce of perspective knows they pale in comparison to starvation, sickness, and war.

“Child soldiers in Africa are often forced to kill their parents as part of their initiation into the army. But I’m sure sitting on a train, with no charge on your phone, as you head to a job interview equals the same thing,” said John, rolling his eyes along with the rest of society.

Ironically, one area where life is far less stressful for millennials is the part where they have to study history. Might do them the world of good though.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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