With six episodes left to find out just who sits on the Iron Throne, Sandor ‘The Hound’ Clegane has his eyes set on his next gig – being a spokesperson for KFC.
A huge chicken lover since the opening episode in season 4, The Hound knows that eventually someone will sit on the Iron Throne and that his skills with a sword, knife or axe won’t always be in demand.
Having served three different administrations in his time – the Lannister’s, the Baratheon’s, and now the Targaryen’s – Clegane knows just how fickle the job market can be. It appears, however, the The Hound has secured his future with a two-year deal with KFC and he couldn’t be more excited.
“It’s alright,” said Clegane. “Better than serving that cunt Joffrey. At least now I get to eat fucken chicken every day.”
Never one to rest on his laurels, The Hound has plenty of new slogans planned to help increase KFC sales.
“There’s ‘Buy fucken chicken.’ ‘Don’t be a Hungry Jacks water dancing cunt, eat chicken.’ Came up with that one on the way here. And my favourite, ‘Eat fucken chicken,’” barked the Hound.
One person happy for Clegane is Ser Beric Dondarrion, who knows just how much The Hound loves KFC. “When he says he will eat every “chicken in this room,” he means it. I expect KFC sales will skyrocket once he starts intimidating people into purchasing more.”
The Hound even has big plans to take over the franchise one day. “Wait till I meet this Colonel fucker. What wars has he served in? We’ll see who’s the best at eating chickens.”
For now, whether it’s scowling on a billboard or physically threatening people to buy more KFC, sales are sure to go up thanks to Sandor’s effective sales techniques. “Buy it or I’ll smash your face in,” said The Hound.