Researchers found traces of fecal matter on every McDonald’s touch screen they tested.

They also discovered small amounts of actual real meat in their burgers.

So how do we fix this? We need to stop testing everything for fecal matter.

Can we just assume that humans are filthy animals and people never wash their hands? We need to stop testing everything or else we are going to all be a bunch of germaphobes and never leave the house.

Whenever you look at someone in public they are either picking their nose or scratching their arse. These are the same people who then go on to touch everything you want to touch during the day.

Let’s start with money. Money exchanges hand after hand after hand. And with all the filthy animals in the world, tests have also shown there is fecal matter on money. At least we have taken steps to get rid of money by becoming a plastic society. Most people use cards. However, there are plenty of doors in between myself and wherever I want to go for the day.

Tests have also shown that most mobile phones contain traces of fecal matter. Well, that’s a given. We all take our mobile phones to the toilet. In the old days dad use to take the newspaper to the toilet and we wouldn’t see him for an hour. This is the modern day equivalent. 

It all started with the free beer nuts on the bar down at the pub. Some wise-guy decided to test them. Of course they were covered in shit. It’s a pub filled with people using the toilets twice every 10 minutes.

Fecal matter has also been found on all computer keyboards. So what are we suppose to do, stop using modern technology?

No. The answer is quite simple. We just need to stop testing everything. Sometimes ignorance is in fact bliss.

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