NAPLAN tests scores for reading, grammar and spelling improve, but writing not GR8 4 som3 r34son.

After being introduced into the Queensland Education system a decade ago, NAPLAN results for reading and spelling are up across the state. While certainly a cause to celebrate, a worrying concern is the decline in our kids writing – at every year level – something which has the experts scratching their heads.

“There’s just no explanation for it,” said Education Minister, Hasna Beeninaclassroomforyears (65). “If kids can read, spell, and use grammar, they should be able to write as well. It’s almost like something came along in the last 10 years that interfered with them not holding their ink and quills in their hands?” suggested Hasna, clutching at straws for answers behind the drop.

Going directly to the source, The DrunkenSober Chronicles asked kids across the state why they think writing results have dropped.

“IDK? IDC TBH,” said student, Texta Lotta (14).

“IMO kid5 r lik3 – N4PL4N, WTF!” answered student, Stare Atascreenallday (12).

“OMG IMO N1C!” exclaimed student, Whereas Maphone (15).

Lost for a clear reason how writing could drop so dramatically over the last 10 years, the government will no doubt pull out their tried and true solution in these situations – more work for teachers. Which makes total sense, like getting your personal trainer to do more push ups and sit ups rather the client actually doing them. That’ll improve test results!

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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