A study conducted by a group of balding middle-aged scientists has conclusively shown, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that women prefer bald men over men with flowing locks.
The study gave three major tests to college students, both men and women, asking them to rate images of men according to attractiveness, confidence, and dominance.
The college students were shown pictures of various people. On team baldy were: The Rock, Vin Diesel, Bruce Willis, and Jason Statham. On team Sampson were: Meatloaf, Iggy Pop, Danny Trejo, and Donald Trump.
In the first study, men with shaved heads were rated as more dominant, taller, and stronger than men with full heads of hair.
When asked why they didn’t include Jason Momoa, Chris Hemsworth, Bradley Cooper, or Lenny Kravitz to represent team hair, the scientist claimed they had no idea who those people were.
The scientists ultimate project is to prove that a beer gut is more visually pleasant than those ugly abdominal muscles.
