After protests in Melbourne yesterday, the Queen tells Harry the baby will not be raised vegan.

Word from inside Buckingham Palace has revealed that Meghan Markle desperately wants to bring their baby up vegan, but that the Queen has expressed forbidden it. Reliable DrunkenSober reporter, Tab Loid (35), has found that after the vegan protests in Melbourne’s CBD yesterday the Queen has totally soured on anything remotely resembling veganism.

It would appear that having a tall, gangly, weakling of a son in Charles is enough for her Worship and that she wants the boy to head in the direction of being strong and manly.

“It may have been fashionable in 2018, but after the debacle down in the colony yesterday, I cannot condone having a vegan in our midst. We’ve already got one wanker in the family with Charles, that’s enough,” said Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.

Sources reveal that Megan is quite disappointed at the news and will now have to rethink what instructions she will give to the nannies and servants who will actually be raising the child during the other 23 hours a day when it’s not being used for photo opportunities.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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