Comedian Ian Cognito dies onstage. Luckily no one got offended.

Comedian Ian Cognito dies onstage. Luckily no one got offended.

A British comedian has tragically died onstage during the middle of his act, but audience members continued to laugh for five minutes thinking it was part of his set.

A host of comedians paid tribute to Cognito. However, the only thing that rang in their ears was the fact that the audience was laughing at the five minutes of silence as the comedian sat motionless onstage.

In this new culture of people getting offended at the drop of a hat, it looks like the new preferred style of comedy is for the comedian to just sit onstage and not actually say anything at all.

“It’s very sad to hear what happened to Ian,” said Australian comedian, Patty Beige. “However, something good has come out of it as I now have another 10 minutes of material and tonight I plan to sit on a stool and say absolutely nothing for ten minutes. It’s a guaranteed way to make sure no one is offended so they should laugh and laugh.”

Other comedians are more skeptical.

“I dont think Patty can do it,” said comedian, Mic Iznton.

“I know for a fact he has been doing improv for the last 10 years and if there’s one thing he won’t be able to do, it’s to shut the fuck up when everyone wants him to.”

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