Archaeologists uncover ancient 3,500 year old Dan Murphy’s in Egypt.

“The Pharoah’s loved their Dan Murphy discount cards,” said archaeologist, Digger Jones.

Archaeologists have uncovered a 3,500 year old tomb in Luxor, Egypt, which contained an un opened sarcophagus, a hidden treasure room, and a Dan Murphy’s store in the town centre square.

Lead archaeologist, Digger Jones (47), was naturally very excited about the find.

“Yeah the tomb and treasures are cool and all, dating back to Egypt’s 19th Dynasty (1292 to 1189 BC), but this is the earliest Dan Murphy’s ever found in history,” said an excited Digger. 

Turns out the Pharaohs were quite the piss heads, all of whom took advantage of Dan’s monthly wine club.

“The Pharoah’s loved their Dan Murphy discount cards,” said archaeologist, Digger Jones. “We’ve long suspected Ramses II was a full on beverage monster, and this find will hopefully help us join the dots.”

Before today, the oldest known Dan Murphy’s dates back 3,200 years in Cork, Ireland, long believed to be the birthplace of alcoholism.

“This discovery totally changes that,” said Digger. “We may even find evidence of the very first AA meeting here!”

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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