Mary’s Newtown pub in trouble again for a blank chalkboard with absolutely nothing written on it.

“I’m outraged!” screamed the internet via social media.

Mary’s Newtown decided to leave their chalkboard blank today, only to find that the empty board caused just as much outrage.

“We were greatly looking forward to being outraged again at whatever they were going to put on their chalkboard. So we’re massively disappointed that they didn’t give us a chance to be offended again.”

Mary’s Newtown pub has been branded “disgusting” and “disrespectful” after posting a controversial joke about Jesus on their Facebook page.

Mary’s shared a picture of Jesus holding a cigarette and a beer yesterday, along with the caption: “Jesus got hammered for his sins, you can too.”

“For you to post something disrespectful about Jesus when the majority of your clients are believers it’s a kick in the guts. You lost me as a client,” posted someone who has never ever been to the pub and never would have regardless of being offended.

Mary’s co-owner, Jake Smyth, said the post wasn’t meant to offend anyone. “We took it down because people started to make threats of rape and murder,” he said.

Because as we all know the obvious retort by a God-fearing person should always be to rape and murder if they get offended by words. 

We aren’t entirely sure who they were threatening to rape and murder. Perhaps the threats were made against the chalkboard. As its very hard to rape and murder a Facebook post.

The pub is trying a new strategy tomorrow, writing ‘If you don’t like our chalkboard, DON’T go fuck yourself.’ Jake says he is looking forward to people complaining that they have every right to go fuck themselves if they wish.

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