Doctors encourage people with a fear of crowds to attend a Scott Morrison rally.

“Trust me. There’s no one there,” said Doctor, Bill Overdue (47). 

Agoraphobia, or the fear of public places where crowds gather, has long hindered shy people from venturing out in the open – until now. Doctor Bill Overdue (47) of the DrunkenSober Research Clinic, has come up with a revolutionary new way to help treat suffers of agoraphobia – attend Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s campaigns rallies.

“It’s quite simple when you think about it. You can’t overwhelm people who suffer from agoraphobia, so it’s best to start small and what could be smaller than a Scott Morrison rally?”

Liv Indoors (27) has suffered from agoraphobia for the last five years, but with the help of this new treatment, she’s now been outside three times in one week.

“Big thanks to the PM for hiring such big halls for only three people. I didn’t feel claustrophobic once!”

The DrunkenSober Chronicle would like to state that if you are feeling agoraphobic, and cannot attend a rally with the PM, to give a Russell Crowe poetry recital a go.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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