Coles Online down: How the hell am I sposed to get food? Uber to the shops or sumfin?

Coles online has been offline for three days now, as a major IT maintenance managed to somehow shut the entire system down. Anyone with an iPhone knows you roll the dice when you update your operating system.

Coles technicians have advised their customers that maybe they should turn their computers off and back on again, which may prove more challenging than expected for the majority of the users of the online service.

So there seem to be a few options available to users. One is that they could get into their car and drive to the shops like the majority of people for a few days. Or they could use Woolies online shopping service and basically still not have to leave their house. The only problem of course being that Woolies doesn’t carry the delicious Coles branded Salt Caramel and Rum Raisin Ice Cream.

Coles tried to defuse the situation by offering online customers a $15 Flybuys credit, but this only seemed to antagonise all the other Coles users who asked quite eloquently, “Where the fuck is my $15 Voucher?”

On Tuesday morning Coles’ Facebook wrote, “Unfortunately the Coles Online website is still experiencing issues. Thanks for everyone’s helpful suggestions and patience.” 

Good to see Coles sarcasm department is still online.

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