Microsoft releasing politically correct version of Word – won’t work for on Israel Folau’s laptop for some reason.

“It keeps autocorrecting ‘homosexuals’,” said a confused Israel Folau.

In a mad scramble to appear the most ‘woke’ of the tech giants, Microsoft are releasing a version of Word which will ensure your grammar is politically correct. Phrases like ‘mailman’ will be corrected to ‘mailperson’, ‘chairman’ will be changed to ‘chairperson’, and gender stereotyping of he/him will now become they/them. 

Whilst some welcome this new encroachment on a person’s freedom of expression – and their use of proper English – the program has left some a little confused, like Israel Folau for example.

“I tried to write up a new statement on the gays after my run this morning, but it came out all wrong. It keeps autocorrecting ‘homosexuals’,” said a confused Israel Folau. “Every time I wrote ‘gay’, it changed it to ‘happy’; every time I wrote ‘homosexual’, it changed it to ‘person who is better than me.’ I wanted to type, ‘All gays will burn in hell’ but it came out, ‘All happy people will get warm in Florida.’

While not being able to judge people is upsetting to a Christian like Israel, he is also worried that unless he can get an old version of Word that he won’t be able to violate his contract agreements and will have to finish them like a regular player.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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