After weeks of every political pollster in the country proclaiming a Labor landslide victory, lefties around every major cities two inner suburbs were in tears last night with a landslide Liberal National Party victory at the polls. And this morning, in typical leftist fashion, calls are already being made for a re-vote because these petulant children didn’t get their way.
“This is an outrage! How dare people vote different to me! It’s not fair!” stomped up and down left-wing activist, T. Wat (26). Campaigning for the Greens from her concrete jungle of shithole – Newtown, Sydney – T. Wat has called for an immediate do-over, just like the left did with Trump, with Brexit, and it seems like people want to do with season 8 of Game of Thrones.
“I demand we hold another vote next weekend, with vegan sausages at every polling place, except this time we outlaw any other party other than the Greens,” stated T. Wat. “That way, I will get what I want which is all that matters here.” Or as our translation department was able to interpret from this rant, ‘Mummy and daddy never said no to me and I don’t know how to deal with life when things don’t go my way.’
Since there won’t be a re-vote, T. Wat and all these other young people will just have to learn that other people hold different opinions and that’s okay. On the bright side, this is Australian politics; if people don’t like ScoMo don’t worry, he’ll get knifed within a year.