Inner-Sydney Labor voters who lost last election ironically think Queenslanders are out of touch.

The electorate of new Labor leader Anthony Albanese is not happy with Queensland voters and have taken time out from their soy-based drinks, hair dying rituals, and never actually talking to someone outside their postcode to put down the good people of Queensland. According to them, Queenslanders need to, “wake up to themselves”. Only problem is, Queensland hasn’t gotten the message as these conversations never leave their local coffee shops.

“How dare the majority disagree with us,” said Chad Soyington of Grayndler. “I have a good mind to go up there and speak with them, except my gluten allergies mean I can only eat soy-based food from expensive Grayndler cafes.”

Angry that coal comes out of the ground – unlike all the other items that also do which make up their cars, computers and mobile phones – inner-city trendies claim the rest of the nation needs to pull their head in before the next Federal election. Only problem is, such condescending attitudes are more than likely to see Labor get yet another shellacking at the polls.

“Telling any group they’re stupid is no way to persuade them to change views. But telling Queenslanders, who rely on mining, that they should scrap the mining industry is about as welcome as a kick in the wedding tackle on your honeymoon,” said Queensland Ambassador and spokesperson, Beau Gan (32).

Even though the inner-city mob have judged Queenslanders already, Queenslanders are open to them visiting their great state. 

“Yeah come and have a beer and a steak, it’ll do you Sheila’s some good. Oh, and bring your women as well,” said Beau.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. He has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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