For some unexplainable reason, there was a shooting in Australia even though we banned guns.

“It’s almost like criminals don’t obey laws?” mused Police Chief, Lotta Sticktime (56).

After four people died in a mass shooting in Darwin overnight, gun surrendering Australians have been left scratching their heads as to how this could have possibly happened after the Howard Governments gun buyback in 1996. We all know that once something is law, no one can break it, which is why we don’t have things like courts and prisons… oh wait, we do.

Speaking of prisons, the alleged shooter was fresh out of jail, and we all know that once you go to jail you’re not allowed to own a firearm, which begs the question – how did he get the weapon with such strict gun laws? 

Naturally, the only sensible thing to do here is to follow London’s example with banning knives, and ban all guns, like from security guards, police, and even the military. This way, everyone will hand their guns in and the rest of us will be safe.

As expected, an investigation will be launched that will reach the only conclusion available – despite the actions of a convicted criminal, let’s take all guns off law-abiding citizens. That will fix everything!

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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