Israel Folau signs new contract with the HCU – Homophobic Churches Union.

“Yeah I just signed my new contract – in black pen of course, none of those gay colours like pink or yellow or blue,” boasted Israel.

After being booted from rugby union for his anti-gay tweets, Israel Folau has signed a new zero figure contract with local churches as a preacher. Whilst many believe it is a huge step down, going from a seven-figure salary down to whatever gets donated to the collection plate, Israel couldn’t be happier with his new contract with the Homophobic Churches Union (HCU).

“Yeah I just signed my new contract – in black pen of course, none of those gay colours like pink or yellow or blue,” boasted Israel. “This contract allows me to say whatever I like without facing any repercussions for my beliefs, and all it cost me was $2 million.”

When asked if he misses the money, Israel laughed at the thought.

“Being able to bad mouth gay people is way more important than any pay check,” said Israel.

Many have questioned this though, as Israel has reached out to other union and rugby league teams to keep his career going – all of whom have told him to go jump.

Skeptics everywhere believe Israel will be back, especially once he realises the collection plate won’t pay for his Mercedes. Then again, if he joins Hillsong he may start making more than his rugby union contract.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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