Kicked out flatmate can’t understand housemate’s insistence on clean bong water.

After sharing a flat for three months, two former best mates – Reg Statton (23) and Toby Newland (24) – have parted ways after Reg reached his limits with Toby’s lack of cleanliness. And not just overall cleanliness, but the very important matter of keeping the flats bong water clean.

Cited in most Real Estate Agent’s studies as the main cause behind flatmate evictions, a dirty bong is a real deal breaker. They stink, they’re unhygienic, and worst of all, they make one hell of a mess when someone knocks them over after a few toots. For Reg, it was the knocking over of the bong that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“Jesus tap dancing Christ. How hard is to tip out an Orchy bottle and refill it from the tap? Takes 10 second, but Toby refused to do it,” said Reg, trying to get the black tar like stain out of their white carpet. “I knew he had to go when I poured the bong water into a pot hole in the driveway and it actually sealed it up.”

Reg and Toby have not spoken since the incident, and it seems things will stay this way for some time. Currently, Toby is looking for a place to crash; he still doesn’t know what he did wrong.

“Honestly, who changes bong water?” asked Toby Newland (24).

Everyone Toby, everyone.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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