The brave heroes of Antifa are at it again – not protesting fascism but being fascists themselves. The modern day brown shirts who stalk the streets assaulting anyone who thinks differently to them have taken things up a notch, moving on from assaulting pensioners to harmless Asian men – harmless GAY Asian men.
The Asian man in question was a journalist named Andy Ngo. He was not only assaulted with fists but had a vegan milkshake thrown on him – whatever that is – and then had some quick drying cement chucked in his face for good measure. Amazingly the police in Portland – who fully support Antifa and let them assault whomever they choose – were nowhere to be found. Andy foolishly called them and reported the crime, which is about as useful as trying to drink a vegan milkshake. Andy has been left bleeding, cut and scarred, while Antifa are quite proud of their latest attack.
“All 50 of us sure showed that fascist!” said Antifa leader Dew Schabag (22). “We’re out here to show everyone what happens when you dare support fascism – we get assaulted until you agree with us! That’s what true freedom looks like people!”
Since beating up a solitary pensioner by a group of 10 thugs, having a gang of 50 beat up one Asian gay man is certainly a step up. According it Dew, there are even bigger things in store for Antifa in the coming months.
“We’re going to have a special night where we smash all the windows of shops that belong to fascists. We’re also going to put up posters of fascists with giant noses and liken them to rats. We feel that’s what freedom fighters would do.”
Look out for this upcoming event, no doubt it will be named something unironically similar to Kristallnacht.
