Woman goes to organic store to get healthy, leaves with severe anxiety due to the prices.

It’s flu season. And the mornings are getting colder and colder. The trains are filled with people coughing into the back of each others heads. Germs are everywhere and we need to have our immune systems at full strength. So it might be a good idea to visit your local health food store and stock up on some turmeric. Just make sure your bank account balances at full strength also.

“I did my research online and I was all set to go,” said Jen Wellbeing. “Cocoa powder, activated salad sprinkles, organic vegan pecans, coconut nectar, stevia, tahini and bee hydrated honey water.”

After reaching the cash register and having to fork out over $200, Jen couldn’t wait to get home to drown her sorrows in some mountain goat steam ale.

In comparison, McDonalds were offering $1 Big Macs and $1 large fries during the week. And while it may not be the healthier option, it sure does allow you enough left over coin that you can still afford your Netflix and Stan accounts. Which at the end of the day make you feel better than a glass of Kombucha ever can.

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