Teachers do their best to not act excited about holidays around non-teaching partners.

With two weeks holidays descending upon teachers like a lottery win or a one-month supply of their favourite beer, teachers who married outside the profession are currently doing their best to not act excited. There’s a very good reason for this – non-teachers always get angry about teacher holidays. Just as teacher Tex Book, whose wife works in retail.

“They used to say in teaching ‘never smile until April’, but the real saying now is ‘never talk about holidays in front of your partner.’ Otherwise, you’re in for it,” said Tex.

When questioned as to what ‘you’re in for it’ means, Tex seemed to know a lot on the subject.

“Bad moods, snappy comments, folded arms – this is level one. Then there’s level two – the silent treatment. Level three is not being able to sit and relax without being made to feel guilty. Then there’s level four – you don’t want level four,” said Tex.

When pressed Tex revealed level four to mean he wasn’t getting any, which is why he and other teachers work so hard not to give any excitement away.

“One time my wife and I bumped into my teacher friends in the holidays and I stupidly asked hoe their holidays were. They replied, “Not long enough.” We get 11 weeks off, most people get four – needless to say my wife wasn’t impressed. You’ve got to be careful what you say in front of the Muggles,” said Tex.

At present, Tex is making sure he gets up with his wife’s work alarm and doesn’t smile before he has the house to himself. Then it’s all Netflix and XBox – until she comes home and he pretends he’s not had a good day due to all the schoolwork he’s done.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. He has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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