New Army Reserves recruit, Alan Smith (19), swore his oath to defend Australia from its enemies, to serve her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and, most important of all, to always talk shit about the Navy and Air Force.
“The first two oaths are expected, but hating on squids and flyboys is an age-old tradition that we’re honour bound to uphold. Pussies,” Alan added.
After the ceremonial handshakes and photos were finished, Alan turned to the nearest naval recruit and immediately started giving him grief about their lower fitness standards.
“Yeah started in on him about their beep test requirements. 6.5 ha! Real soldier have to do 7.5 at least. Pussies.”
Now that Alan has enlisted as an infantryman, he will spend five weeks at Kapooka learning basic field tactics, weaponry, and just how shit the other two branches of the defence forces are.
“I already know we we’re better than them, I’m just looking forward to finding out all the reasons why,” said Alan.
After completing his final oath, an Army major looked at him coughing as a prompt before Alan caught the hint.
“Oh. The pussies.”
