Lachlan Taylor (29) has an incredible story to tell, one that some have found a bit hard to swallow.
“So, I’m in the toilets at Brissy airport, just washing me hands, when the guy next to me approaches the paper towel dispenser and removes one piece of paper,” said a shocked Lachlan. “One! We all want to remove just one, but those bloody things always end up giving you three or four at a time.”
Asked if maybe the dispenser was somehow damaged, Lachlan instantly shook his head.
“Like all paper towel dispensers, there was a massive pile of unused paper underneath it, so that proves that this bloke possessed magical abilities or something,” said Lachlan.
Running straight up to the nearest security guard to regale him with the tale of the miracle he just witnessed, Lachlan was naturally met with a huge dose of skepticism.
“I thought this bloke was having a lend of me,” said security guard, Isa Punchblokes (34). “So we both went to the dispenser and sure enough, we each pulled out four bits of paper when we only wanted one. I told him to tell his story walking.”
With no witnesses and no CCTV footage, Lachlan has found zero believers in his fanciful tale.
“I don’t care what anyone says, I witnessed a miracle that day. Either he was a magician, or maybe – just maybe – it was Jesus himself.”
At present, Lachlan is awaiting confirmation of miraculous behaviour from the Vatican. The DrunkenSober Chronicle will keep readers updated on news of this event.