Big news out of the Vatican yesterday as the Catholic Church confirmed the latest miracle which took place down under. Johnno Emerald (35) was getting a lift home with his dessie Macca and ended up in the middle of the backseat when the miracle occurred.
According to eyewitnesses at the time, Johnno grabbed the seatbelt and put it in the slot on the first go. Macca had to pull the car over in disbelief as everyone started shouting and hi-fiving like mad men.
“We couldn’t believe it – first go! No one has ever done that, that’s what makes it miraculous!” stated Macca (36).
Receiving the news via a personal call from his Holiness himself, Johnno at first thought it was the boys having a lend of him and hung up on him twice. When Johnno finally received it was the real Pope, they had a good chat about the miracle and Australia’s poor form at the Cricket World Cup.
“He was a good bloke old Franky. I didn’t believe it was it was him but when they convinced me, the Pope said it was okay because he didn’t believe I could do what I did at first,” said Johnno.
“At first I called bullshit, but turns out it’s fair dinkum,” said his Holiness, Pope Francis I. “We had a good chat about the miracle and he cricket.”
With the confirmation approved, all that has to happen now is for Johnno to visit the Vatican for his official scroll and seal which Johnno says will happen once he saves up for a Contiki Tour to Italy sometime in 2023.