Grandmaster chess champion Igors Rausis was caught red-handed during a chess tournament this week. Photographic evidence has been handed to the police in order to charge him as he was playing for money and it is therefore a criminal matter. The camera set up in the toilet has peaked just as much interest as the cheating grandmaster.
“How long has that fucken been there?” asked former champion Grandmaster Flash. “I’m all for catching a cheating motherfucker, but a camera set up in the toilet is pushing me close to the edge.”
Igors Rausis admitted that he hid a phone in the toilets, but claims that he just wanted to have a wank mid-game.
“It relaxes me and helps me concentrate,” said Igoris.
For the past six years Igoris has been seemingly unbeatable. He became the oldest person to be ranked among the top 100 players worldwide, coming in at No. 53 this month. It almost seems too good to be true. And that’s because it is. As it turns out he’s just a no good dirty cheat. Either that or a chronic masturbator.
