“Fuck off tourists – that’s my wave!” yelled surfer, Bob Dolebludger (30).
Operation Talisman Sabre began this week with more than 1,000 Coalition forces storming Langman’s beach in Queensland, but tooled up soldiers who had psyched themselves up for an intense military landing were instead met with annoyed surfers and retirees complaining about their view being spoiled.
Expecting to meet fierce military resistance, the soldiers and sailors were greeted by a chorus of “fuck off tourists” and “that’s my wave wanker” instead. After wading through the profanity, troops eventually landed on the beach to be confronted by irate grey nomads complaining their morning tea was being ruined by these “whippersnappers.”
Whilst overseas troops were somewhat taken aback by the resistance met, Aussies soldiers were instead seen huddling with the stoned surfers for some fresh weed to smoke before joining the retirees for some jam and scones under their caravan shade tents.
Australian military leaders felt the entire operation was a success, after they stopped giggling and finished off five large bags of Twisties each.