Gold Coast Yowie sighting may be fake. In other news, Gold Coast may not be made out of actual gold.

A family in the Currumbin Valley on the Gold Coast made a startling claim this week that they have been stalked by a Yowie – since November. Considering it is now July, skeptic P. Lonker (36) of Brisbane has a number of questions around the sighting, starting with, ‘Why would someone wait nine months to report being stalked by a Yowie?’

“The family has said they’re so scared they’re thinking of moving. Again, why did it take them nine months to come to this conclusion? Wouldn’t you just shit yourself on day one and be packed by next morning?” wondered P. Lonker.

Despite Mr Lonker’s doubts, the family in question are sticking to their guns. Local MP Jann Stuckley is backing them saying the family’s claims warrant more investigation, which just happen to involve more press leading to an increase in tourism in the area. Although no photographs or video footage have been produced – no doubt because nine months isn’t enough time to snap a picture – P. Lonker isn’t going to look too hard into this alleged sighting.

“This one doesn’t warrant further investigation,” said skeptic hunter, P. Lonker. “I’m not saying they’re full of shit, but I am thinking it.”

When asked what the difference was, Mr Lonker aptly said, “A lawsuit.”

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. He has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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