After a lacklustre summer box office, the British Film Industry is reflecting on ways to increase cinema attendance and a young intern by the name of Harriet Purpledye (21) has startled the Film Board with her revolutionary, out-of-the-box thinking. Expecting softball ideas like ‘more films about refugees’ or your textbook ‘trans-gay-female-non-binary cats journey to self-discovery’, Harriet instead floored the meeting with a bold proposal.
“I said, “What if we make a British film without Mark Strong?”” said Harriet. “The room went dead quiet, then they laughed nervously thinking I was joking, then it went dead silent again.”
Unsure how to respond, the Film Board members offered polite thanks for her contribution and then proceeded to discuss 2020s summer line up which includes Mark Strong playing: a businessman who is married to Felicity Jones, whilst having three affairs with Keira Knightley, Emily Blunt, and Emma Watson; former Ugandan dictator, Idi Amin; and American Civil Rights protestor, Rosa Parks.
Since the meeting Harriet has been politely uninvited from future Film Board brainstorming sessions, but not without two tickets to Mark Strong’s latest blockbuster, a remake of the Chinese historical drama The Last Emperor, where he plays the last Emperor of China, Pu Yi.