Aussie swimmer Shayna Jack claims she never took steroids. What’s more, those pornographic mags found under her bed are totally not hers either.

“They belong to a friend, just like the supplements,” claimed Shayna Jack.

Timing is everything in this world and Shayna Jack testing positive for banned substances couldn’t have come at a worse moment for Australian swimming. Considering Mark Horton just refused to shake the hand and share a podium with Chinese swimmer Sun Yang for the same reason, things are pretty shit for Aussie swimming thanks to Shayna.

Pulling out the good old ‘tainted supplements’ line, which has been used by 95% of all people caught using steroids and has a believability rate of 0% – the remaining 5% being athletes who simply owned up and were immediately believed – Shayna will forever have doubt cast upon her, as Chinese swimmer Sun Yang well knows. Despite being in a prime position to gloat, Sun Yang instead took the high road.

“I believe her, because it’s a lot like what happened to me. I was just walking through the locker room and slipped over and fell onto some steroids,” said Sun Yang, scratching at some odd needle marks in his arms.

As obvious as it is Shayna’s excuse is bollocks, she is sticking to her guns like a bloke busted for porn on his computer. And just like the porn fiend caught red-handed, Shayna will never be believed. For now though, she is standing by with her story meaning this will drag on and on and on and continue to embarrass Australian swimming. Thanks Shayna.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. He has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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