Two mass shootings in 24-hours in the States. In other news, Macy’s has a massive sale on.

The Department chain ‘Macy’s’ has advertised a huge reduction in all its stocked items with a 25% off sale. Making headlines everywhere, customers are frantically filling their stores as well as hitting them up online.

The sale includes all items – clothes, jewellery, footwear – and is said to last for an entire week, something which has compulsive shoppers jumping out of their skin.

“I couldn’t wait for the store to open so I camped out front all night. Didn’t sleep a wink I am so excited,” said shopper Barr Gan (45).

“I’ve ordered so much stuff online I’m worried they’ll need a Mack truck to deliver it all,” said bargain hunter, Hal Foff (33).

“I’ve decided to cash in my kids college fund and treat myself. Why not? The kids never call anyway,” said shopaholic, Sven Thrift (48).

Even though everything is 25% off, Macy’s look set to make some record profits this week. Oh, and 29 people have been killed in two mass shootings over the past 24-hours. Thoughts and prayers etc.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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