The latest study out of Australia’s 37th most respected educational institute – DrunkenSober Community College – has found that spiritual quotes tattooed on arms and hands don’t do shit when you’re stuck in traffic.
Associate Professor Maffew Sheargold (pictured) has just concluded a seven year in-depth study into this very subject, something he is keen to share with the world.
“People get spiritual quotes to help remind them to be calm, but chuck in some congestion and gridlock and it goes straight out the window,” said A.P. Maffew. “I placed dozens of tat wearers into traffic in mic’d up cars and here’s what I heard.”
“’Just breathe’ shouted – “Use a friggin indicator!””
“’A little faith’ yelled – “Fucken hurry up!””
“And ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’ screamed – “Jesus tap dancing Christ!””
The study found that 100% of spiritual tat wearers could have saved themselves hundreds of dollars, and a few hours of pain, by getting ‘Short temper’ tattooed on their arms instead.
“Although not as catchy, it is at least more honest,” said A.P. Maffew. “Speaking of honesty, I really need to find better ways to spend seven years.”
