Climate protestors starting to get over waking up early to beat the traffic.

“A 5.00am wake up! It’s almost like having a job,” said Extinction Rebellion spokesperson, Unna Washed (22).

Having brought Brisbane to a standstill more than once this year, climate protest group Extinction Rebellion are already jack of getting up early and commuting into the city for what seems like an 8-hour shift. Ironically having the hallmarks of an actual job, the protestors are wanting instead to sleep in and have a day off.

After experiencing one 5.00am start, the group – comprised of 100% unemployed young people – are not keen on doing it again, wanting all protests to now take place in the afternoon.

“A 5.00am wake up! It’s almost like having a job,” said Extinction Rebellion spokesperson, Unna Washed (22). “Me and the rest of the group have voted and all protests will stop afternoon traffic instead to cater for our needs of being deadbeats who don’t contribute anything to society.”

Given the fact that workers will have commuted and completed their work for the day, afternoon protests may not be as impactful as stopping people before work. Then again, given how many Aussies would be keen on getting home to knock back a few beers this may actually be a stroke of genius on their behalf.

Only time will tell if these afternoon protests will work or not, but for now these precious young snowflakes won’t be triggered by the blaring sounds of an alarm at 5.00am. Which is a good thing, we wouldn’t want them to suffer PTSD now and not be able to make it into Centrelink to collect their payments.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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