Schools to allow kids to use emojis to signal how they’re feeling. This won’t distract them from their education at all.

‘Bored face. Hungry face. Tired face,’ sends student 20 seconds into first lesson of day.

In a move of stupendous bad-choicery, schools are beginning to trial emojis in the classroom so kids can signal to the teacher how they are feeling. The philosophy behind the approach is that teachers can better monitor how their students are feeling. Like if they’re sad and the teacher can stop teaching to address their mood. Or if they’re bored and the teacher can stop teaching and change their approach. Of if they’re tired and the teacher can stop teaching and let them rest. In short, the emojis will serve as one giant interruption to teaching – just what time-poor teachers need.

Naturally this latest fad is in line with the previous 6,593 fads in education that have been brought in with not one single teacher being consulted about the move. Instead, some bellend academic who has never taught in a school has come up with a theory and the Department of Education has jumped on it like an academic jumps on a grant.

“My emoji theory has been trialled in over one school in one classroom and has a 100% success rate,” said academic twatface, Grant Pending (47). “I haven’t asked any teachers about it, because I don’t need to.”

With such an amazing success rate, the Department were naturally all over this new idea as it sits right in their wheelhouse of being dazzled by the latest shiny object.

As always, no one can predict which will win out first – this idea falling over due to its inherent dumbassery or whether the Department can focus for longer than a week on one solitary idea. Either way, both academics and the Department should definitely try a different brand new shiny object – actually asking teachers before rolling out new ideas. 

It’s a plan so crazy, it just might work!

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. He has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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