Man dies. Family and friends discover he secretly did Crossfit.

Larry Lowkey suddenly passed away last week at the age of 32, stunning his family and friends with his unexpected demise. But it seems an even bigger shock was in store for them when a complete stranger turned up at his funeral in Crossfit gear.

“I was mingling with the guests after the service and saw someone in a Crossfit singlet and thought, ‘That’s odd.’ Not odd that a Crossfit person would wear a Crossfit singlet to a funeral, but more ‘Odd. What’s a Crossfit person doing at Larry’s funeral?’” said his mum, Sandra Lowkey (61).

After approaching this person and asking how he knew Larry, he said he was a Crossfit instructor and that Larry had been his student for five years. I nearly fainted,” said Larry’s mum, Sandra. “We talked every day and he never once mentioned this. I feel like contacting the Guinness Book of Records.”

Word quickly spread through the guests, with all conversations turning to the topic of Larry’s secret life.

“I had no idea,” said John Stevenson, Larry’s best mate. “There were absolutely no signs. No Crossfit t-shirts or singlets, no daily posts on Facebook and Instagram, pictures from competitions or even inspirational bullshit quotes with scenic nature backgrounds. We had no idea.”

“I’d never even heard him use the term ‘WOD’,” says Jess Tamby (31), Larry’s best friend. “Doing Crossfit and not incessantly telling the entire world about it? It’s unheard of!”

At present, Larry’s family are struggling to come to terms with how Larry could do Crossfit and not constantly mention it. They have asked that if you see them around to please respect their privacy.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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