Parents doom their kids to a life of misspelt misery with ridiculous first names.

Despite over-parenting to the point that names like ‘Helicopter parents’ and ‘Bulldozer parents’ have been coined, modern parents seem to have no problem subjecting their kids to a life full of misspelt misery by giving them awkwardly spelt first names.

“My parents names me after ‘Brittany Spears.’ Whilst that doesn’t sound too bad, the problem is with the spelling. It’s spelt ‘Brittny.’ I get to say to the world, ‘Look at me, my parents have learning difficulties’.”

“I was christened Bayce. Bayce! Did they forget that one letter on and I could have been Chase which would have made sense? Or even start at the alphabet, I could have been Ace. That would have at least been cool.”

“I for one have made peace with it,” said Braydin Smith, 27. “I did the smart thing and went and change my middle name to ‘Dsylexic.’ People tend to leave me alone after that.”

The Drunkensober Chronicles would like to urge all parents when naming a child to think, ‘Do I really want my kid to be having the ‘How do you spell that conversation’ in every class, on every business form and on their wedding certificate?

Also, we cannot stress enough that ‘Drunkensober’ is NOT a good name for a child.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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