Man holidays for two weeks in Japan and doesn’t see any ninjas.

32-year-old Brisbane man, Jeff Stine, has returned from a two-week Contiki trip in Japan with what he considers is some earth-shattering news – he didn’t see a single ninja.

“They’re bloody good at hiding, I’ll tell you that for nothing,” said the Brisbanite. “And I looked too. I mean really looked. I’d be halfway through dinner in a fancy restaurant before I’d duck under three or four strangers’ tables and shout, “Ah ha!” And still nothing!”

Checking under cars, outside his hotel window ledge, and under his roommates bed each night, Jeff said he had great fun trying to play ‘Catch a ninja’, although not everyone shared his keenness for the game.

“He is one weird whitey,” said local police sergeant, Nakatomi Plaza (46). “We tried to explain to him that ninja lurking on roofs is an antiquated notion, but he’d simply smile then wink at us and say, “Sure, sure.” Halfway through having to caution him he knocked my cap off my head and shouted, “Ah ha!” Stupid round eye.”

One thing is for sure, Jeff made a lot of people uncomfortable with his obsessive searching. “I’ve been running Contiki tours for over 10 years, so I’ve seen some weird stuff,” remarked Abby Legend. “But when a grown man starts peering over toilet stalls shouting, “Ah ha!” – and he’s not doing this to see some flesh, that takes the cake.”

After being cautioned by police, and asked never to book a Contiki tour again, Jeff is happy enough with his memories of Japan and his prized possession – a photo of a roof without any ninja on it.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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