Man looking forward to doing nothing all weekend comes home to find neighbour has mowed their lawn.

After a quick stop at the bottlo on the way home to load the back of the ute with cartons of piss, Trevor ‘Bone’ Lazy (30) was looking forward to laying on the couch and doing sweet fuck all this weekend. That was at least until he pulled up in the driveway and saw his neighbour had just finished moving their lawn.

“Oh God damn it”, shouted Trevor, slapping his steering wheel.

Seeing a clear line where the freshly cut lawn next door met his unkempt out-of-control jungle, Trev instantly knew that he could not hide the fact his lawn needed to be mowed from his wife, Beryl (31).

“Me missus is gunna take one look at this and send me out to the shed”, moaned Trev, surveying the beautiful manicured grass on one side versus the untamed plains on his.

Ever quick on his pins, Trev came up with a cunning plan to down three tinnies as fast as he could, using the old ‘I’m against drink driving’ defence once Beryl arks up about the lawn. Unimpressed, Beryl exited the house and agrees he should not operate machinery whilst drunk, yet still questioned how he managed to drink three beers inside of one minute of pulling up out of the front of their house.

Knowing full well he’ll be sent to the shed first thing in the morning to get to work, Trev has at least bought himself a Friday night on the couch doing nought.

“Not quite the full weekend of doing nothing I had hoped, but it’s better than nothing I suppose. Come to think of it, I may even wash both cars out the front of my neighbours place so his missus gives him more chores to do”, laughed Trevor, before Beryl shouted at him to put all his empties outside in the recycling bin.

“Oh God damn it”, muttered Trev under his breath.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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