Wife excuses her farts with the ‘Mine don’t smell’ defence.

After being roused on for farting in various places around the house, husband Brian Ray (45) felt hard done by when he and his wife woke up and she let one rip in their bed. Pointing out the hypocrisy of the situation – him being yelled out when he drops one three rooms away – his wife felt not an ounce of guilt cracking one under the covers.

“There’s one big difference – mine don’t smell,” said Cathy. “Yours stink, mine don’t.”

Unconvinced by this logic, Brian pointed out all the times that definitely wasn’t true which made his wife giggle before dropping another one under the doona. Thinking he had he green light, Brian then squeezed one out only to hear his wife exclaim, “Hey ya!” and punch him in the arm.

After being kicked out of bed, and relegated to moving down the hallway, Brian then heard another brump from their bedroom followed by profuse giggling. Resigning himself to the unfairness of the situation, he then forced a quiet one out three rooms away, only to hear, “Hey ya! I heard that” from the other end of the house.

It was at that point that Brian realised that this is an ongoing war without end.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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