Study finds 80% of your wardrobe are clothes you aspire to fit back into.


A new study out of Australia’s premiere centre for brilliant ideas – DrunkenSober Community College – has found that around 80% of your wardrobe are clothes that you hope to fit back into. Rather than throw out clothes that no longer fit, they serve as motivation to eat right and do more exercise so you can once again wear them with pride. Only problem is, six months on from that thought, 80% of your wardrobe is still comprised of clothes you aspire to fit back into.

Having returned from a six-month study of hiding out in people’s wardrobes, Associate Professor Maffew Sheargold (pictured), made this amazing discovery.

“Yeah I’ve spent a lot of time in people’s wardrobes in the dark, and I found out two things: one, 80% of people’s wardrobes are made up of clothes they want to fit back into; and two, our restraining order process really is quite flimsy,” said A.P. Maffew.

So next time you look in your wardrobe at clothes you think you’re going to fit back into, you might want to do an honest self-inventory and pack them away to a local Op Shop. The upside is you’ll be more honest with yourself – as well as clearing away space to see if there’s an Associate Professor hiding away in there spying on you in the name of [ahem] * ‘clinical research’.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. He has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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