Parents banned from cheering at kids soccer matches. Not really an issue when it’s soccer.

Right across Brisbane this weekend a new PC-nonsense decree sees parents banned from cheering at their kids soccer games. It’s called ‘Silent Saturday.’ The theory is that kids can play without feeling pressure to perform. Fortunately for all involved, soccer is so uneventful that this is almost a non-issue.

“Yeah if it were AFL or League or Netball, where people score all the time, you’d have a hard time policing it. But when most matches in soccer end in 0-0 there’s little cause to celebrate,” said soccer coach, Iva Wastedmylife (46).

Naturally, a large section of the community otherwise known as ‘Not the three whingers who always ruin it for everyone else’ are unimpressed with the move labelling it ‘Silent Twaturday.’

“This is the dumbest thing to happen to kids sports since we stopped them doing spear tackles on concrete. Harden up, will ya?” said parent of the year, Mayd Tocome (35).

It’s not all bad news though as clapping is allowed – for now. Give it one complaint from an overbearing parent and watch this get banned and replaced with jazz hands and then Silent Twaturday will finally be complete – until the next complaint that is.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. Has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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