With Monday fast approaching, time to tell yourself your diet starts tomorrow. Hint – it doesn’t.

It’s Sunday night and if you’re like most crash dieters, you’ve rid the house of all its junk food by binge eating throughout the weekend. With Monday morning just around the corner, it’s time to tell yourself that things are going to change tomorrow. Only problem is – if you’re like Noel Itsnot (32) – they’re not.

Noel has been in a cycle of starting a new diet every Monday for a good 10 years now, and he’s a pretty solid bet to make it to Wednesday lunch before the wheels come off. Only problem is like most people, Noel tells himself it all starts again on Monday, so he tends to live it up for the remaining four and a half days left in the week thus negating any gains made over the two and a half each week.

“Everything’s gunna change tomorrow,” said habitual self-deluder, Noel Itsnot (32). “Since I’ve blown this week, I might as well live it up because it’s all gunna change next Monday! Sure it hasn’t for 10 years straight, but I have a good feeling about tomorrow.”

So if you’re like Noel you’ll no doubt have a healthy Monday and Tuesday but you’re likely to fail by Wednesday. Don’t worry though, there’s always next Monday because that’s when things are going to change for sure!

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. He has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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