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Man faces big city dilemma when a guy walks towards him talking to himself – is it blue-toothed business arsehole or crazy person?

“You’ve got a 50/50 shot at this so you had better get it right,” said Melbournite, Nick Wildman (31).

In any big city people often come across a lone individual talking – sometimes yelling – at themselves. When first spotted, the same thought naturally enters people’s heads – what’s the go here? For Melbournite Nick Wildman, he faced this dilemma recently and was still shaken by the chance encounter.

“Yeah I was on my way to work past Flinders Street Station and that’s when this guy appeared talking loudly to himself. He was walking dead at me, so I had to quickly figure out what I was dealing with – was it a business arsehole or a crazy guy? Both present their own set of problems,” said Nick.

If it’s a businessman, Nick explained, you have to prepare to hear a lot of shit-talk about how “Heads will roll” or “Buy/sell” or “Sell/buy.” If it’s a crazy guy, “then you’ve got to figure out the quickest exit in case they lock onto you as the guy who stole their chocolate tricycle or whatever,” said Nick.

“Either way it’s not a pleasant experience, which is why there should be designated spots for these folks. A corner for crazy people and a corner for high-powered business arseholes to speak to other high-powered business arseholes,” said Nick.

Such a plan may sound implausible, but it would help lower the anxiety many of us feel when a lone crazy person approaches talking to themselves. The Government banned smoking in a lot of public places, why not arseholes and crazies?

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