Father of a newborn, Terry Wellington (35), has experienced his first children’s birthday party and is somewhat concerned with the outcome. Made to attend by his wife, Kate (35), Terry was informed in no-uncertain terms that he is expected to attend all children’s birthday parties from here on out so that parents will turn up when it is time for their child’s party. Only problem is, with 30+ women at the party, Terry couldn’t help notice there were only three other dads there.
“I shot straight for the corner where the dads were sneaking a few beers in when the wives weren’t looking,” said Terry. “They embraced me as one of their own, but pointed out that they’re the only three dads who turn up – ever.”
Wondering how 90% of the other dad’s got away with not attending, Terry found at least half do shift work, another 30% were separated, while the rest were just out-and-out deadbeats who didn’t give a toss. Slightly intimidated by the new experience, the other dad’s took Terry under their wing and guided him straight to the barbeque.
“Greg taught me it’s important to look busy right away otherwise the wives find things for you to do and or/shoot you dirty looks,” said Terry. “John showed me this neat trick where they hide their empties to make it look like they’re only ever on their first beer. And Chris invited me to join their kids party dad’s chat group so I did. It’s made up of those three dads and over 27 who’ve left the conversation,” said Terry.
For now, Terry’s first kids party wasn’t too bad and he’s semi-looking forward to the next one until his wife told him there’s a party this coming Saturday, followed by two this coming Sunday. Saying farewell to golf and fishing trips for the next 18 years, Terry let out a sigh. “Guess this is my life for the next 18 years then,” he whispered.
“What was that?” asked wife Kate from the next room.
“Nothing, dear,” said Terry quickly. “Kids parties here we come.”
