‘Don’t Tell the Bride’ to be renamed ‘Throwing Money at Chavs.’

CaptureAfter 13 seasons Producers of the hit TV series ‘Don’t Tell the Bride’ have decided to rebrand the show with a more authentic title capturing its contents – ‘Throwing Money at Chavs.’ 

Given that every episode involves some plonker and his loser mates being handed two responsibilities they are clearly not cut out for – understanding women’s wants and being responsible with money – the new title will help teary brides who always end up disappointed in their groom-to-be at some point in the show.

Like bricklayer Trevor (23) who took the 13,000 pounds on offer and decided to spend 12,000 on clowns because, “I love clowns, me. Julie hates them but I fucken luv em – know what I mean?” Trev then spent 300 quid on piss, 200 on his 15-year-old aspiring DJ cousin and 100 pound on snacks from the vending machine at the Kids Centre venue he got for free, cleverly leaving himself a solid 400 pounds to spend on Julie’s dress, shoes and makeup artist.

After Producers managed to talk a crying Julie out of the only working toilet at the venue, before going ahead with the wedding, Trev spent an uncomfortable evening at the local Emergency Room after being kicked in the gonads.

With the new name change hopefully brides-to-be will shed fewer tears and experience clown free weddings from here on out. As for Trev, he says next time he gets married he will ensure he has a few pounds left for his next hospital stay and for the divorce lawyer he is currently paying off in monthly installments.

Published by Brian Rowe

Brian lives in Queensland with his wife and [insert Councilly approved number of] cats and dogs. He has been described as handsome, charming, intelligent... and his mum also said, “He’s a very good boy.”

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